Tuesday, December 21, 2010

So Why Don’t You, Please Do It

So Why Don’t You, Please Do It

So why don’t you please don’t make me smoke alone. John please just smoke a little with me? Look I’m not looking for anything serious or long term rather just a little fun tonight. I know you love to fool around I can the see the spark in your eyes. It’s not a big deal if we have sex tonight as the song goes” And tomorrow go back to being friends.”

Hey man everybody wants to go out tonight, you know catch up on old times throw down like 1999, 2009, wine and dine, it’s the usual that’s on the menu tonight. “Come on you never go out anymore always dissing all your friends acting like your way better than us or something. One night hurt anything; stop getting your panties in a wad.

So as I walk the down town streets the shadow of death I fear no evil for even thou I’ve screwed up you will comfort me as you lead me down to cleaner refreshing waters I drink the cup of life, whatever shoot or cocktail you want to buy me. I use to think the idea of God was cool and liked the benefit package of going to Heaven but never cared for Jesus too much. I’m not rally sure why just didn’t. He never did anything to me or ever mistreated me. I simply didn’t think or talk about Him. I wanted the free pass to Heaven when I died (like everyone else in the world) However I never wanted to abide by all those rules acting and doing all the things like the churchy God bless you attitude people. No I wanted to do what I wanted, where I wanted, when I wanted, where I wanted and depending on how I felt & even how late into the night get into something more.

See when I started looking growing into manhood I started looking around & discovering the fun times bring pains, pissing all that money away wasn’t exactly fun anymore. Fights, diseases, car wrecks, prejudice arose, and the Billy Bad @$$ syndrome occurred inside my head & heart. As I turned towards God in a last effort to somehow get right & help my mother sleep a little easier @ night God welcomed my twisted, wild eyed, all- nighter, broken mess into His arms.

I was welcomed without a whip or a belt for all my sins but with love. God's ordained perfected timing of people & even places taking me in under their wings, exposing me to a new side of life. Lifestyles that where Holy in action mixed with a burning passion to change my hellion ways. Even afterwards I still continued to slip back and forth tossing and turning with my Angels and my Devils, God still took care of me like a loving Father. He started revealing Himself to me as I continued to draw near. It was mindblowing ways that I have only heard about from my mother. Telling me things called Revelations during hours of prayer sessions and now they where started occuring to me.

Gifting and talents started to arise inside of me things I didn’t even know I had or could do. He started showing me things regarding my future, other people’s future, & often times sharing with me what was on His heart at that moment in time. As I started recognizing this relationship forming He patiently waited on me to die to self, stop fighting,”the mentality of living for years on both sides of the fence” and just give into His plan. As I con’t to put my hand out and reach toward Him, He was doing the same stretching His hand out to grab mine. Once this new relationship blossomed into a true friendship, He wanted to open my eyes, heart, and even my feelings toward His only son, Jesus.

One can’t truly love God without loving Jesus and someone can’t live like she/he wants and without finally turning away from the old Habitual habits. It’s not right to love a father and mother and not son or even daughter especially when you begin to spend significant time with that someone. It almost becomes natural with long durations of time to start treating everyone equally in the family. So then why didn’t I want to wasted all the time like I use to? The answer as complicated as it is simply because God loved me for who I was not who I could be or should be acting.

So why don’t you want to cuss every 6 or 7 words and continue telling dirty jokes well because it’s offensive to Jesus, it hurts His reputation/His feelings?

So why don’t I want to continue having sex & doing what I want to do all the time, well because it’s bad for me, my heart, soul, mind, and body just as God has often times warned all us about in His Word?

So why don’t I want to go out with old party friends because I’m weak with temptation & I just might do all the things mentioned earlier plus some!!

So why do when I slip messing up I run back to my favorite Christian preacher or favorite Harp and Bowl music well simply because I’m striving to achieve greatness for the name who saved my soul from eternal damnation, broken weak self esteem, screwed up financial wreak, and even potential marriage problems due to my own abusive actions and mentalities.

I stay secluded writing, reading, listening, studying, and praying for a better way more abundant part II of the John Wesley Brooks story. I build & continuing building a foundation with the expectations that once I come out of the gate it’s on & I’m bringing as many people as I can into the winners circle.

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